It was a bittersweet holiday weekend.  On the one hand, it was spent with friends and family, which was great.  On the other, it is probably the last 4th of July I will ever spend with my grandmother.  She is not doing well and it’s only a matter of days before she is no longer with us.  However, because of her condition, the family picnic had the best turnout that it’s had so far.  It was nice to see relatives that I have not seen in a long time, particularly my cousin Tabitha.  She is 10 years younger than me, so my husband and I used to take her and her sisters to Great Adventure, the Zoo, or just to hang out at our house.  Those were always fun times.  Now she is a grown woman and we had not seen one another since she was pregnant with her first child.  It’s been too long, far too long.

How does time get away from us like that?  How do we stop it from happening?  My aunt emailed me a birthday greeting on June 15 and I finally emailed her back last night.  How did those 2+ weeks get away from me?  I think it actually happens more frequently when I’m not engaged, that is, when I have things to do to occupy my time.  I am better about staying on top of things when I have many other things on which to concentrate.  That sounds ironic, but that ‘s what works for me.  I feel like I am currently in a funk.  I have no deadlines, either at work or at home.  It is difficult to not let time get away from you in that situation, at least for me.  I prefer to have structure and most importantly, deadlines.  I guess that’s why I enjoy school so much.  It’s also why I enjoy having employment in which I am fully engaged, even if it’s over the required 40 hours a week.  I just feel more alive.

How do others stay motivated when there are not deadlines?  What do you love to do that makes you “work” even when deadlines do not exist?  These are questions that I am currently asking myself.  I will not be in school after May of next year, at least not for 8 months, so I will really need to figure this out or waste way too much time being unmotivated.

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