Well as I mentioned in my blog last week, my grandmother has been ill.  She passed this morning.  I have been going over this in my head all day.  What does this mean to me?  I’m still not sure.  I was with her on Saturday and she was not doing well so I know that she is at peace now and for this I am grateful.  I had visited her several times over the past month with my children and they were lovely visits and for that I am also grateful.  And I’m grateful for the chance to have this venue to reflect on what having her in my life meant to me. 

What I realize is that my son is more like me, than I even knew.  He tends to grab onto the bad things and remember them as opposed to remembering the good things.  I do not think I do that any longer, but upon reflecting on my grandmother, I think that I had that same tendency when I was younger.  I mostly remember my grandmother yelling at me, especially about getting out of the trees (we liked to climb them, a lot).  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there were a lot of good times.  We used to sit for hours and work on puzzles.  We used to play cards, a lot.  My aunts, my mom and my great aunts would come over and we’d have huge card games.  They were very competitive too.  We’d bet pennies and these games were viscious.  No one wanted to lose their $2.  I looked forward to those nights.

The most fun I remember having with my family, the times I felt most loved, was during those card games.  Working on puzzles taught me patience.  Being yelled at to get out of trees made me realize that whatever a lady was, it was not something that I wanted to be!   These were all important lessons.  I guess the most important lesson, though, was the lesson it taught about women needing other women.  I always came out of those card games feeling validated, knowing that if there was no where else in the world I belonged, I belonged there.   I was a member of the women’s club.  Thank you grandmom for welcoming me there, I’ll miss you.

Advertisements