I am being self-reflective these days, most likely due to the death of my grandmother.  After her memorial service, I had to go into work for an important meeting.  Now I know people think, what could be that important, but this meeting involved a huge responsbility that was given to me.  As an admin, I don’t get that feeling of authority and importance too often.  I’ll revisit this later.  So anyway, because of where my grandmother’s service was held and where my work is located, I had to drive past many of the places that were important in my childhood.  As I drove through, I couldn’t help but think that this would be the last time that I might see many of these places.  After all, I have very little reason to ever go back to the town where I grew up since my grandmother wasn’t there anymore.  It almost felt, at that moment, that my childhood had officially ended. 

Understand, of course, that I’ve been supporting myself for over 20 years now, but still, that did not seem to define the end of childhood.  I lost track of old friends, had children on my own, and yet, I still felt like one of the “younger” ones.  I am the oldest granddaughter, so at the service, my aunt gave me my grandmother’s grandchild charm bracelet.  Although I do not have any grandchildren and won’t any time soon, my children are the oldest of my grandmother’s great-grandchildren.  I guess it felt like the crown was being passed.

The reason that I also marked this post as education is because being grown up, I feel like it’s time for me to figure out what I want to do with myself now.  I will be graduating with my Bachelor’s in Liberal Arts degree in May and I feel strongly that I want to continue, particularly if my company will continue to pay my tuition.  What should I do though?  Within the confines of my job, there aren’t many options.  Do I abandon my 20+ years of administrative experience and go in a totally new direction?  Or do I stick with what I know, my strengths, so that I can continue to grow with my current skill set?  I really don’t know the answer to these questions.  I do know that I cannot afford to pay for my own tuition since I will need to help my children with their college tuition in a few short years.  From that standpoint, it seems like it would be silly to find a job making less money.  But when do we finally say “uncle” and go for our bliss?  And how do you figure out what bliss means for you?

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