You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Feminism’ category.

So, it’s been almost a month since I was last here.  I had started the blog again in the hopes that I would post at least once a week.  I joined the club at Whole Foods hoping that I’d take yoga at least twice a week – that’s happened once.  I wanted to be under 190 lbs, that’s happened for one day.  I just don’t seem to have much “stick-to-it” ness going on in my life right now.  I guess you could say, I’m still tired. 

Will it do me any good to set goals when I don’t seem to stick with them?  Am I too hard on myself?  I know that second question is true.  I rarely give myself credit for anything.  I have been trying to change that, but still a work in progress.   I guess the only way to find out is to set some definitive goals instead of just having some ideas floating around in my head.  If I give them to you, I will be held accountable (since I know my sister always reads my posts 🙂 )  Here goes:

1.  I want to finish the quilt that I started for my nephew Lucas and also my nieces Eliana and Kerrington.  My stated goal is to finish in order to give them at Easter when the family is together.  Kerrington’s might be a stretch (still a little piecing to do) but there is no excuse for not finishing the others.

2.  I will post to this blog at least every other week.  We’ll start there and hopefully work up to more time.

3.  I want to get below 190 and stay there.  I will set lower goals, but first I need to hit this one.

4.  I will take some form of exercise class at least once a week.  I’d love to do four, but at this point, one would be a great success.

So, there are my goals for March.  They are a good place to start.  Oh, I have one more!  My son bought me two books on Feminism for Christmas and I’ve only read one of them, Woman by Natalie Angier (I highly recommend it to everyone).  My final goal for March will be to finish reading The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir.

Let’s see if having something to accomplish will help move me forward.  In fact, I will revisit this at the end of March and reevaulate for April.  Perhaps this will be the right way to stay on track.

As someone who is overweight, I know a thing or two about food.  Mostly, how much I like to eat it.  My husband is a great cook.  When I went back to school, he took on the responsibility of feeding the family and even does half the shopping every week.  He soon found that he loves to cook and our family soon discovered that we love him to cook for us.  We were just shopping today and realized that we were shopping the perimeter!  We are eating healthy, we know that, but why aren’t we losing weight?  Probably because we eat lots of the deliciously healthy food that we make for ourselves.

We’ve also been going to the gym.  So far, I’ve only averaged two days a week, however, I am working my way up to four.  Still haven’t lost any weight though 😦  It’s all very frustrating.  My husband keeps reminding me that we are doing this for our health and if, and when, the weight loss comes, it will just be a bonus.  We love each other no matter what, so if our bodies change for the better, great!  If not, well it won’t matter because we have to be getting healthier with these new habits, don’t we?

Being a student of sociology, I know intellectually that society is encouraging me to think less of myself because I’m not thin enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not…enough.  But if I continue to allow my heart to listen to that, I will never be satisifed because I will never measure up to societies standards.  However, I already measure up in plenty of ways: I’m good at my job, I’m a good mom, I’m a good wife, I’m a pretty good quilter and I’m a thinking person, in addition to the many other things that I am.  So why is it so hard to filter out all of those shoulds? 

I guess the trick is to constantly remind ourselves of who we are and why we are good enough.  The advertisers are good, but they can’t beat good ole self-confidence.

I had an interesting conversation with my son the other day.  He wrote a blog entry about something that had occurred in his life and mentioned that he had called a girl a “ho.”  Well, this feminist mom was not going to stand for that!  I made him promise me that he would never call a woman that again.  He said the she was a demon from who knows where and I said fine, I’d prefer you call her that.  Which led to, “You’d rather I call her that?”  I had to go on to explain that whore was a word that was used to oppress women and limit their choices and has been used for centuries for those reasons.  It is ok for a man to have sex with multiple partners and while there is now the term “man-ho,” it is still used with an “atta boy” attitude.  Why is it ok for men to make this choice, but if a woman owns her sexuality and chooses to have more than one partner, she is a bad person?  Why?

It forces women to be the gatekeepers of morality while men can go ahead and behave however they would like, without circumstances.  It is shaming language that is only used against women, for which there are no equivalents to use for men.  If having multiple sexual partners is immoral, then the language should reflect that in a non-gender way, but it does not. 

Therefore, my son has promised me he will never use that word again and I trust that he will not because he respects women, his mother in particular 🙂

Why is it that every morning radio show is full of misogynistic jerks and women who allow them to be?  I have not been able to find a morning show where women are not talked about like pieces of meat.  Do women not listen to the radio in the morning?  Where did this come from?  And even men who seem otherwise nice, think nothing about constantly referring to women as sexual objects or to their wives  as nagging shrews.  Where is the value of women in morning radio?  Is it to sit there and tell the mostly male DJ’s what naughty boys they are, because that’s all I hear them saying.

This won’t be a long post, because there’s not much more to say on the subject.  I have switched to listening to my mp3 player on shuffle.  I know it does nothing to fix the current state of talk radio, but not listening is better than just “putting up with it” so that I can hear one or two good songs on my way into work in the morning.

Do any of you have good radio stations in your area that don’t discuss women in stereotypical and sexually explicit ways or do most of you have the same experience as I do?  What do you think we can do about it?

I just read two posts by women who are anti-Natural Birth.  They seem to think that because doctors are involved, a hospital interventionist birth is the safest, best way to have a baby.  And these are women that are posting on the Skepchick blog (http://skepchick.org/blog/2010/06/reader-rants-doulas-vs-doctors-vs-dolphins-lexicakes/).  Women who supposedly look at scientific evidence and use their brains to come to logical decisions.  But see, here’s the thing.  You can’t prove almost anything about birth because you can’t do controlled studies.  Every woman’s birth is different, period.  So the OB’s don’t know any more than the midwives.  All they know is what others have taught them, what they choose to believe is true and what their observations have told them.  The skeptics use the example of an epidural slowing birth.  Apparently, there are statistics floating around that epidurals slow down the birth process.  She goes on to say that this can only be seen as a correlation, and causation cannot be proved because there is no way to know where the woman’s birth would have gone without the epidural.  I completely agree with that argument.  At the same time, OB’s will tell you that a baby’s heart rate dropping during birth is a sign that the baby is in trouble.  However, from what I’ve read, that’s a “cover my ass” response.  All baby’s heart rates drop somewhat during contractions. 

Which brings me to my main point – you cannot discuss birth in a purely scientific manner.  It is emotional and I will argue with you to the end on this.  For the same reason that you cannot prove the epidural slows birth, you cannot prove that it doesn’t.  For the same reason you cannot prove that a baby removed by a caesarean section was not in trouble, you cannot prove that they were.  Unfortunately, the only way to know these answers is to let the process go without any interventions and risk losing a mother or a baby.  Not an acceptable outcome.

Here is where we disagree and why I bring this up – I choose to give birth with no interventions.  That was MY choice and it was my right to make that choice.  With my second child, I was forced to have Pitocin (which really freaking sucked) and, if it were not for my husband, other interventions that may have led to a C-section.  If you choose to do as the OB tells you and you end up having a C-section, that is YOUR choice.  We should both be allowed to make these choices for ourselves and all of the choices in between without being treated with condescension and disrespect. 

Why should I have to listen to women who say that no rational woman would choose to give birth naturally when I am very rational woman and did a lot of self-educating to come to that decision?  Why is my decision less rational because it does not match theirs and why is it less rational because I chose not to put all my faith (that’s right, because during birth it is more faith than science) in the medical establishment?  Why can’t women support each other in their choices, no matter what form those choices take?  Until that happens, we are going to continue to be second class citizens in this world. 

Another blog that I frequent, The Feminst Breeder, has the right idea.  Although I am sure if you were to direct the oh-so-thinking Skepchicks to the link, they would say she is too conspiracy theorist.  Maybe partially true, but she has the right idea (and she’s also a thinking, intelligent woman). http://thefeministbreeder.com/indepenent-women-will-be-cut/

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3 other followers